7 Major Disadvantages of Agreeableness

Agreeableness is a personality trait commonly described as being friendly, cooperative, sympathetic, understanding, and tolerant. In terms of social interactions, agreeableness refers to how well people get along with others. In general, people high in agreeableness are good listeners and tend to avoid conflict with others. They are often empathetic and have a soft nature. In addition, they are also considerate and tolerant. Such people usually tend to not exhibit many outwardly aggressive behaviors as they are well capable of controlling their emotions. However, people who are too agreeable in every situation may face constant challenges and neglect from others. Here are 7 disadvantages of agreeableness. 

1. You lack Assertiveness:

Being too agreeable prevents you from achieving your personal goals. You will have no sense of self-identity and will find it hard to express your thoughts. Without your voice and opinions, sometimes you simply become a puppet. Others can tell you exactly what to do and say, and you don’t feel comfortable speaking up and saying “no.” Instead, you allow them to make all the calls and decisions for you. So essentially, your lack of assertiveness is holding you back from taking charge of your life and making your dreams a reality. If you find it difficult to confidently voice your thoughts, consider taking a personality development course.

2. You Become Exhausted:

When we try to please others, we often end up feeling mentally drained. We feel compelled to give our time and attention to people who make us feel bad about ourselves. Our self-worth becomes tied to how well we do with others instead of owning what makes us great. To stop being too agreeable, we need to learn to accept ourselves for who we are and not let others define us.

3. Your Priorities Become Skewed:

Being too agreeable, you are mostly focused on other people. You place everyone else ahead of yourself and neglect your own needs and goals. You become blind to everything else going on around you. You fail to notice opportunities coming your way and miss valuable experiences. As a result, you miss out on chances to improve and advance in life. When you focus on yourself and only look at what’s right with you, you start enjoying everything life has to offer. 

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4. You Make Excuses for Others:

It is difficult to deal with problems when you’re always worried about how others would react to what you said. You may find yourself making excuses for others rather than standing up for yourself. When someone else makes a mistake, you tend to excuse their behavior instead of criticizing them or pointing out the mistakes that they've made. You justify their poor decisions by thinking you'll encourage them to change. This can lead to disappointment down the road.

5. You Tend to Overwork:

People who have high agreeability often tend to overwork themselves as they are incapable of delegating tough responsibilities to others in the workplace. This is because such people do not want to cause an issue with his/her colleagues. They do this due to their fear of resistance or negative emotions towards them from others.

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6. You Avoid Conflict:

People with high agreeability may avoid conflicts with family members, friends, and colleagues out of fear of damaging their relationships. They might choose to avoid unpleasant situations altogether because they feel that the pain would be too much to handle. However, avoiding conflicts doesn't solve anything or even help anyone. Conflicts require communication and understanding. If we don't deal with the conflict, it might escalate. The top soft skills coach can help you learn communication strategies that you can use to resolve conflicts more effectively.

7. You Do Not Get What you Want:

Agreeability is a personality trait characterized by being easy-going and accommodating. It’s pretty simple to understand how someone who is too agreeable would not always get what they deserve. There are times when we need to stand our ground and demand what we want—whether it’s a raise or a promotion at work. If you aren’t assertive enough to make those demands, then you might find yourself stuck in a job or position that doesn’t suit you. Also, if you’re constantly trying to accommodate others and give them what they want, you may end up missing out on things that you desire. 

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Final Words:

These were the most common disadvantages of agreeableness. As a way forward, be honest with yourself about how you feel instead of rejecting your thoughts for the sake of others’ approval. Try to set boundaries with those you depend on for emotional support to prevent over-dependence. Focus on the priorities of your own life and things that matter to you. Try to point out the flaws in others' decisions or actions while being kind. Criticizing others helps them understand what choices they are making and how they are affecting them and you as well. Also, be assertive, as oftentimes in life you might be under pressure to do things you may not want to do. As always bending to others' wishes will keep you stressed and unhappy.